JUST GET UP NOW AND WE’LL GO GET SOME GRUB… I DON’T WANNA LOSE A BODY PART OVER THIS

So this morning I wake up and my Viking Cat Alex is on the bed asleep at my feet. Bit me too, the little bugger, when I roused him with my feet, but not enough to draw blood. I can also hear my Great Dane Sam asleep at the foot of the bed on the floor.

Now ordinarily Sam likes to get up in the bed with me and lay beside me right before I go to sleep and right after I wake up. So I call him up into the bed and up he comes and lies down to my left side. Over comes Alex and they begin jockeying for position to see who gets to be closest to me and petted the most this morning.

Now ordinarily, if no one is looking, I often find them curled up together on the back deck, either sitting watching the woods, or sleeping together peacefully. But if I’m around they always start pushing each other around or trying to get between the other one and me.

In other words they scrap over me like a coupla jealous chicks, especially when nobody else is in the house and I’m the only one here, Sam growling or snapping at Alex and Alex taking the occasional swipe at Sam’s snout and meowing and griping and carrying on the whole time.

To solve the problem I had to let Sam lay beside me so that he could put his head on my stomach while Alex lay on my chest like he was a kitten. They’re both very big critters though (for their various species) so it wasn’t an easy maneuver.

Then both of them took to snoozing while laying on me but afraid that I’d wake up to find them fighting and me maybe losing an eye or a testicle I couldn’t go back to sleep. So after fifteen minutes of that crap I just made us all get up and go get breakfast.

That little snooze-fest just wasn’t worth all the possible injury combinations. It was kinda like sleeping with a coupla live grenades on my chest.

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