Everything I’ve Learned to Write the Perfect Query

Authorial Furies

Dear Agent That Absolutely Wants To Represent Me Via This Unsolicited Query,

This is where you put a one line hook to your book that may or may not actually be completely out of tune with the rest of your query. You desperately try to match it to the style of your book. You stare at it for countless numbers of days, weeks, and occasionally months.

Here you expand upon your plot. I hope you only have one relevant character because that’s as many words as you are allotted. One. Ok. You’ve already used too many words. No. Stop. Stop now.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVE ANOTHER PARAGRAPH ABOUT YOUR PLOT. HOW DARE YOU.

CALL TO ACTION. This book is about something and you somehow waited to put that all the way down here.

Now is the time to get pithy and reference this one specific agent even though you…

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